We become so used to carrying stress that we no longer notice that it is there. Low level anxiety becomes the background noise to our life. Our body in a constant state of alertness, triaging resources to create cortisol at the expense of our other vital hormones.
It took 33 years of searching and a lot of ayahuasca for me to find my rock. It may take some time to find yours. It is a blend of your own hard won spiritual beliefs, and an understanding of your unique self. But once you have found it, and you build your self-love and worth upon it, you are free to play in the sand all you like.