We become so used to carrying stress that we no longer notice that it is there. Low level anxiety becomes the background noise to our life. Our body in a constant state of alertness, triaging resources to create cortisol at the expense of our other vital hormones. We only notice it when it becomes so unbearable we turn to the three M's: Medication, Masturbation, or Mastication.
Or we lift the stress. We breathe, we float, we go to nature, or ceremony.
Often times when I eat some marijuana I feel a sense of anxiety. The instinct is to blame the marijuana for creating the anxiety, but lately i'm more inclined to believe that the marijuana is just revealing the anxiety that already exists within me. Which then allows me to work on releasing it. Self myofascial work is my go-to for dropping into parasympathetic mode.
I'm fucked up like everyone. I'm stressed out. When facing the unknown I still find myself choosing fear over faith. I get sad. I get really confused!
This is the human condition. The goal is not to transcend, the goal is the transcending. It is resistance training for the spirit. The satisfaction comes in the chasing of the dream, not in the realization of it. So thank you, you bad motherfucker called existence. I am going to choose to enjoy all of it. And thank you to all of you for being a part of this grand experience.