Huachuma Medicine Journey Notes: July 23-31 2018

By Aubrey Marcus August 03, 2018


🌵Deep reconciliation work with my shadow today, figuring out that it isn’t my shadow.  It’s all me.

🌵The angel and demon are one.  No separation, just different aspects of god, different expressions at different octaves. 

🌵Every human animal is a fucking tribal savage.  We cage that aspect, we tranquilize it, we deny it.  But we must all acknowledge and reconcile it, or we will become very sick.  So how do you channel it? We have a choice. War or dance? Violence or music?  Train it like a stallion, lunge it, but don’t give it the reins. A loving but firm hand.

🌵I can’t lose!  I can only win in ways I didn’t expect; through the teachings of failure. 

🌵Ayahuasca tells, Huachuma asks. 

🌵Where there is desire, there is fear.  Fear of the desire being unmet. Faith can supplant fear.  Abundance is faith embodied. So I may desire, but just need to hold faith that my desires will be met.  And to the extent I have faith, I will be in abundance, and not have fear. The other option is to rid myself of desire, which sounds terribly boring to me. 

🌵PLAY!  Sing the song of the Earth, in this the Golden Age. 

🌵I snuggle into thoughts of sexual fantasy as an escape from discomfort in unreconciled reality. 

🌵To be in my soul is not a trying, but a being. 

🌵What you fear draws near. 

🌵The secret of the garden of Eden is that nothing is forbidden. 

🌵Complaining draws people away from the kingdom of heaven, expressing the joy of being in the kingdom allows other people to see it.

🌵Don’t stress, Body of mine, the mother will provide. 

🌵If I’m manipulating, even through acts of kindness, then I am denying free will and full agency.  I have to get to radical truth, and be at peace losing everything. I must move from the known, to discover what might be.

🌵I feel myself disintegrating into the All.  The needs of my small self no longer feel important right now.  I am able fill my cup from the great Cup. It scares me a little.  It’s okay, let it happen. Breathe. You don’t have to give up ordinary life, you just have to know it is your controlled folly.

🌵Am I happy?  Yes, I am the happiness of the world.  And the sadness too.

🌵Neither king nor fool is happiest in this game.  But they play the role they are given with heart, for they can be nothing other than who they are.

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