Open Relationship Field Guide

Maybe you are curious about open relationship.
Maybe you have tried open; crashed, and burned.

Or maybe something just happened.  You found out your lover is with someone else.  You are in that place where you feel small, claustrophobic, like you were a magician’s assistant stuck in a tiny basket.  And then there are the swords… Stabbing through your stomach, filling your body with butterflies from hell. Or are they moths?  Full size electric Mothras. You want to get out, just run away, but you don’t know where to go…

You might have just found yourself in open relationship.

Whatever the reason, this 14 step guide and emergency help manual will be an ally to you along the way.

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  • I’m considering an open relationship for my next relationship. Starting from the beginning out in the open and establish it as such. Hopefully can allay the feelings of being cheated and or the inability to satisfy a partner. I just seen too many monogamous relationships not work and both parties seeing other people well I’m an idealist I’m also a realist need to do some research.

  • I found out recently what an open relationship is. Its wrong to have a open relationship when two people are in love with each other isn’t it???

    brenda carla barnett
  • I found out my husband was having a BDSM relationship. I have RA, Degenerative Disk Disorder, and many more. I live with 7-8 pain on a daily basis. I freaked out, cried, stomp, hit him x 3. Then I calm down and gave it chance. It was a couple of weeks on an emotional roller coast. It so happens my husband found a non threatening, god, respectful younger woman. I am not gay but I found out I am bicurious. I am getting to know me, my sexual self in a safe environment. This came at an age where I felt strong courageous, complete with out a men. I have been loving self and developing a relationship with self. My husband has been there for me in 8 major operations. This is my way of saying thank you for all you have done. However, I think I want to explore 3 individuals that come together and play. Love & light to all.

  • Started an open relationship with my long term partner recently. I have been dating very casually but we’re now at the point that she has another partner. I’m happy for her but am definitely hoping for some wise counsel here. As always, thanks for serving your medicine, brother!

  • I just found out that he has been seeing other women he says that it’s not sexual just someone to talk to, I’m the real jealous type and I don’t do 2nd , the cars and insurance,etc are in both our names, what do I do?

    Sharon E Oneal
  • Interesting comments and insight into open relationships. I’ve never been in one. I often thought this arrangement was odd and strange, but perhaps it’s not. I used to think one person could fulfill your needs in a relationship. However, after 2 marriages and a combined 25 years of being monogamous, my mindset is changing. Validation from another person whether it be love, attention, sex is something we all crave. I’ve recently begun an incredible journey of getting to know myself more deeply, living for my happiness, having a relationship with myself. It is changing me in profound, beautiful ways. I am currently not in a relationship with another person, but if that happens this concept of an open relationship is a strong consideration as the happiness and deep love it could bring astounds me.

    Michelle Hawk
  • Hi :)

  • The points you make regarding the challenges an open relationship present are so on point. Challenges to our own ego, self esteem and validation and how they play out within open and non open relationships makes so much sense as you’ve laid them out. Thank you, big ups, much appreciation!

  • This is so awesome of you Aubrey! Sharing your experiences and knowledge on a subject that is taboo to some is rad. I give you a big high five. Blessings, Steel Mace Warrior – Victoria.

  • Aubrey argues a solid point. I’ve heard the same argument in the other direction as well (a monogomous arrangement, and the meaning behind it, or the ‘why’).

    Aubrey’s “HELP” section really glosses over almost everything you would hope the HELP section includes. The intro speaks to exactly the type of situation you find yourself in (the ‘oh my god, my partner is cheating.’ ‘my partner prefers other people’, etc), and then… WHAM… Aubrey tells you that you’re in an Open Relationship and that’s that. the remainder of the HELP section is discussing how to be a part of an open relationship and being able to deal with the beginnings of it. At no point does he mention the betrayal of trust of an affair or a partner cheating, or how to deal with any of the issues that he introduces. Your left with the feeling that “OK, I’m in an open relationship now. I’ll do that”, instead of “Hang on, why did he/she cheat? How do I approach them with this? What’s the WHY behind the cheating? Are there addiction issues? How can I help myself here? Should I share this information with someone that I trust? How do I lesson the pain? How do I forgive myself, and my partner, but still move on because ultimately, they cheated on me?”

    Bit of ‘slim-pickings’ and watered-down help section.

  • I love that both of you have the bravery to release content like this. You may already know this but you’re hacking down the trees, creating a brand new path to greater love for all. A more united love awareness.

  • Love you Aubrey and your writing!! I’ve never been in an open relationship before, but I’m becoming more and more curious about it. I just need help taming my jealous side and my insecurities. Hope this helps!

  • Send me the guide please

  • Hi

  • I haven’t even read it yet and I know it’s going to be helpful for ANY relationship. Thanks for exploring and going deeper on behalf of the rest of us. I’ll see you there soon, brother <3

  • I really appreciate this field guide. I was just in an open relationship and experienced the “crash and burn” aspect of it. And it left me with more questions than any answers. Questions about fulfillment, what does it mean to be fulfilled? Can a partner be fulfilled with only one person? If you have an incredible relationship with one person why feel the need to open it up to more? What does sexuality mean and can our “animalistic” desires be transcended? So anyway thank you for offering this piece of advice. I hope I can find at least some answers here. Much love.

  • Curious about this guide

  • guide?

  • I’ve never undestood this, but I want to learn.

  • I might be in one, now. Lol. Thanks

    T.J. Broxton
  • Something I’m considering to assist me in growing through insecurities and jealousies

    Clayton Beaulieu

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