The Freedom Of Loving Your Imperfection w/ Peter Crone & Vylana | AMP 412

PETER: And I really want you to get this, and this may give you the chills. It's giving me the chills. As a baby, we don't have a narrative or a conversation that we're not loved for who we are. We don't have conversation, we don't have language. Auntie is holding us in our Prada dress, we throw up because I'm an infant. There's no "Oh, shit." And there's definitely not an old shit, it's fucking Gucci, Prada. That doesn't exist. It's just like we're being. And it's kind of adorable, and it's actually cute, and the parent will take care of it. But at some point, you learn like every human being, that just being you, just being you is insufficient. And you chose your path of trying to find sufficiency. Can you see that?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: And that's the world of pressure and suffering and exhaustion that you've been living in for three plus decades. But why it doesn't work is because it's not for the outside world to try and compensate for the part of you that feels is insufficient.

AUBREY: Peter Crone carries the moniker, Mind Architect. And he deserves that every step of the way. What I've been able to see him do with people, including what he does with Vylana on this podcast, is truly paradigm-altering, reimagining, rearchitecture of the mental and psychic constructs. He is an absolute wizard. And if you've listened to any of my other podcasts with him, you've watched him do this with me. And on this episode, he dives deep into the psychic constructs of Vylana, which so many of us will recognize as a pattern that we hold ourselves, finds the truth underneath that pattern. And I've watched Vylana liberate, flower, and flourish ever since the filming of this episode. So, enjoy this very intimate and vulnerable episode with Peter Crone and my wife, Vylana Marcus. Peter fucking Crone, here we are. Number four.

PETER: PFC. Not to be confused with KFC. Finger looking good, I got to come up with somebody else. That's kind of inappropriate.

AUBREY: The Colonel himself is here.

PETER: Yeah, four-peat. I just want to take a beat there for a minute, because I think that's... Is that our first ever?

AUBREY: There are not a lot of four-peats out there. I think there's a couple, but this is--

PETER: That you've done?

AUBREY: Yeah.

PETER: Oh, dammit.

AUBREY: I mean, back in the old, I think there's eight or something with this guy, Corey Allen, who's like my, like a Buddhist guy. But that's going way back to the old, old days.

PETER: I have a sense based on the fact that I feel we'll be in each other's lives for a while, we could surpass that.

AUBREY: I know.

VYLANA: Yeah.

AUBREY: Yeah, we've got a target. We've got like Djokovic numbers of grand plans that we're going to try and win.

PETER: Grand Slams of podcasts.

AUBREY: Yeah, that's it.

PETER: We'll be on ESPN eventually.

AUBREY: So, this is an interesting time, because we haven't had a conversation since everything kind of went crazy over the past few years. Ultimately, all of the work that you do to liberate the self, to bring people back into their power, to bring them back into the truth of who they are, is actually probably the most important defense against all of this mindset that's been kind of laid out in order to control people, and meet the corporatocracy, fiefdom agenda that seems to be out there to actually create in some ways, a victimized servant class that will just continue to operate in their consumers ways, and continue to actually fund the elite corporatocracy, right?

PETER: Yeah, no, it's well put. But we could, as is my want, from a devil's advocate perspective, say, was it the chicken or the egg, right? So, is it that overarching, the oligarchs, the wanting to control, is the byproduct really, of the fact that we have been in perpetual victimhood? So, there's all this cry for freedom, which is beautiful, but I could argue that we were never free. We just didn't know it. Now we know we're not free, which is actually an evolution. So, as we evolve as beings as a collective, it looks like oh, there's all these bad guys out there, and there's the tyranny. I'm not denying that and even I have had to revisit the way that I relate to humans out there that I've thought were traumatized, and sort of sliding into that. No, they're just evil. It's a different sort of bucket, right? But it's like to what degree is that actually, collectively, a macro version of what we all do in our work for people, the micro version of having to face the things you don't want to look at. So, that's the container I like to have, because otherwise it just becomes way too depressing.

AUBREY: Yeah, well, I mean, if you look at the collective as an organism, which we really are in a way, especially now with the way that everybody is able to communicate with each other, with some exceptions, of course. But it's almost like cells of a single body. And so, as you can liberate your own body, mind, spirit consciousness, which is all one substrate of different densities, the collective can also go through a liberation process. And oftentimes, there's a dark night of the soul, there's a moment of reckoning and awakening to fuck, I'm not free. And it seems like this is really what's happening. I think it's a good reframe.

PETER: Right, right. It helps me a lot, because like you, we're both sensitive men, we want to have that masculine feeling of stability of security, the protector. So, sort of the back of the neck hairs come up as like this feeling of, wait, we're under attack. But then if you look at it as no, what if this is just like a collective tumor? And there's a certain degree of the spiritual chemo that is really unpleasant to go through, but it's nonetheless, not one that I would advise, but a methodology for treatment, right? Like we have our own forms of treatment. Much more holistic and impactful. But that really helped me to go, oh, hang on a minute, I with all the work that I've done, and anyone that I work with has their version of unpleasantness, like it's a form of birth. Anyone who witnesses especially from the male perspective, his wife, his lover, going through this metamorphosis of caring, to giving birth and rise to another being, in lay terms, I think this is the medical term, it's fucking messy. But nonetheless, you don't see the tearing of the perineum, and the poop, and the blood, and the screaming, and the fuck yous as evil. It's like, oh, my God, I'm in the container of love, and I'm giving rise to something. And even that can take hours. But time is illusory, right? So if you think about, okay, this has been three years, and it could be another two, and it could get worse for a minute, but is that consciousness labor? And then relative to the eons that we've been here, it's kind of a drop in the ocean.

AUBREY: I think, actually recategorizing that idea of a tumor, which we have this war on cancer, which is fundamentally the wrong idea--

PETER: It's the precursor to it.

AUBREY: Right, right, right. So, like Travis Kristofferson's work, "Tripping Over The Truth", showing how when you actually restore mitochondrial health and enough energy for the body, cancer is in that mindset, which goes all the way back to Otto von Warburg and a bunch of different understandings of the metabolic theories of cancer. Really, it's about do you have enough energy to actually function properly as an organism, and liberating the mind, body, spirit as one of the ways you can liberate energy. Just like rehabilitating the mitochondria with restricted ketogenic diet, and then some hyperbaric oxygen. The different ways that you can actually do that is helpful. But even potentially... So, that's one idea that you can play with this is like, alright, there's cancers here, we need to rehabilitate, get our vital life force up one way. Another way is, maybe it's not a tumor, maybe it's actually a baby. And this is fucking messy. And we're not here to attack it. Actually, we just need to birth through this process, go through the tunnel, and we're going to be out the other side into actually, a new world. Not the new age, that has been all kind of, I don't know, it's been spray painted and fucking water colored and sparkled and put in all different ways, and it's not really the thing, you know?

PETER: I mean, that's the way that it's helped me to recognize as much as we are all oblivious to what's really going on, that's the nature of life is uncertainty. And so, the illusion of how things look is, oh, this looks terrible. And it's like, well, how many times have you in your own micro experience of being human, had a terrible moment that could have lasted... Like, for me, the biggest catalyst for my own awakening was like when the girl left me. That was terrible, I was devastated, I couldn't sleep, I lost weight, I'm calling all my friends, "How do I get her back?" That was my version of tyranny. My body was in fight or flight. It was toxic, right? Okay, so the mediums by which I got to that state, different than what we're experiencing. But nonetheless, the energetic experience was the same. But yeah, that was transitory and ended up being one of the best things I've ever went through. I mean, who doesn't say that after a breakup, the job loss, whatever it is.

VYLANA: And it's funny that we literally have this statue of Kali, that's a symbol of the cycles of destruction for creation. And just like the birthing process as well, there's contraction, and then there's expansion, and then there's contraction and then there's expansion. And then eventually, you have a baby that's born, which feels like a really beautiful mirror to what we're going through collectively.

PETER: Thank you. Yeah, something that's only dawned on me recently, but it just helped me and people I talk to just go, yeah, it's freaking scary. But you talk to a mother who's in labor who's perhaps, God forbid, breech birth, and there's all these quick decisions that seem like life or death, and it's terrifying. But it's, in the bigger container of this, is so beautiful. And something we collectively, certainly that nucleus family, are so excited about. So, it sort of dampens the edges of the transitory pain, right? So, I think it's just hard for the human brain, which tends to be very linear to look at this with such a big scope, right? Because we tend to be so impulsive and reactionary and impetuous in the way that we do things, versus well, if you look at the arc of the human beings' existence as a whole, and then you take this as like a chapter, and really, relative, kind of a short chapter, it's like, it ain't too bad. Like, I'm excited for what's on the other side. And is there going to be collateral damage? Yeah, just like there is in any kind of birth. There can be like hemorrhaging, there can be tears, there could be arguments, it's like, it can get pretty heated. But when you take a family, and then you superimpose that onto a collective of eight billion, it's kind of exaggerated to a big degree.

AUBREY: So, one of the things that we were able to witness yesterday, and also, anybody who's watched the three podcasts we've done before, you have a particular ability to liberate people from the prisons of their own mind. It's like you are the ultimate gowler with the keys that can unlock many keys, just all the keys, the keymaster.

PETER: I'm like the little Japanese guy [inaudible 12:04].

AUBREY: Exactly, find the keymaster. Yeah, for sure. And I've been thrice liberated through this process and different podcasts. And there's more liberation to go because I have to acknowledge, and I think everybody has to acknowledge that in some ways, we like prisons, and that's part of the process is to understand how the prison is, you think it's serving you, at the very least it keeps you safe. This prison is safer in this thing for other reasons. But I wanted to invite Vylana on this podcast to get a little taste of what it's like to identify the prison walls.

VYLANA: I'm ready, I'm ready. I was told to bring tissues. Who knows how this is going to go.

AUBREY: So, I wanted to bring her in so that you could kind of, and I'm open and available too to discover my own prisons and get four times unlocked. What's thrice gone to four?

VYLANA: I know really you went from uno, dos, tres, [inaudible 13:11], and maybe it's something to do with fourteen.

AUBREY: Couture sized unlock.

PETER: That sounds kind of painful and kind of sadistic.

AUBREY: Yeah, for sure.

PETER: I'll try and be gentle. I'm going to couture size you.

AUBREY: So, Vy, if you were going to share some of the things, and Peter, I might let you kind of lead this way to see where you might actually intuitively feel you're not fully free.

VYLANA: I mean, it's something that always feels like it's been the most relevant, I don't want to call it a struggle, but just something that has inhibited the fullness of me being absolutely free, and something that there are always different dimensions and different layers of really, healing and bringing into resolution is, something that as far back as I can remember, literally from being four years old, is this construct of perfectionism. And, I started Tahitian dance at a very young age. My mom said that I started when I was two, which I don't even know how that's possible as a two-year-old, but--

AUBREY: It's more wiggling.

VYLANA: It's like wiggling, yeah. That's what we call, like lizard wiggling.

PETER: Or a full diaper.

VYLANA: We'll try to find a video to pop it on here.

PETER: I don't need to see that.

VYLANA: But I started competing when I was four. It's interesting to think of being a four-year-old. And the story that my mother tells is, I'm four years old, I'm Polynesian dancing. My mom is sort of, she's like my goddess, and she Polynesian dances competitively. We dance in shows, all these things. And my very first competition, they didn't have an age category that was for that young of an age. That age group from super young to five, you basically just get like participation ribbons, and you still get to dance in front of people, but it's not the competition. And my mom said, I threw a fit, and was like, "I want to compete." And so, she convinced them because I was so young to let me compete in the youngest age category, which was like seven to eight years old. And I won. And so, my whole childhood, I was a dancer, and that consumed my life in the best way because I absolutely loved it. I was connected to my culture and my heritage. But there was one competition that I had, that I got deducted for something that was in my costume, and I got second place. I was so upset, I didn't even want to look... I was like, I don't want your trophy. If it wasn't the best, I wouldn't accept it. And it's interesting, because I don't recall my parents ever instilling within me, you should be the... That wasn't there. There was something deeper within me that just needed that to feel like life was right. How that's transpired in my life, and I've spoken about this before. It showed up in competition with women, jealousy. When I was in school, I didn't want to just get an A, I wanted the highest grade in the class. And that was the only thing that was really satisfying to me, is was I either the top grade or in the top 2%? And so there's always been this measuring of myself, in relation to the external. And, still to this day, there are very subtle ways where I watch this show up in criticizing myself. Suddenly, if my hair isn't great that day, and if I have more split ends. It's just this constant battle that I don't recognize always how much energy it's taking up. And, I do see it as the thing that feels like, it's the thing that keeps me feeling fully free to be the truest, unique self that just is me. So yeah, that feels like it.

PETER: That's a pretty good place to start. Yeah, beautiful, really well articulated. I mean, obviously, I've known you guys for years, love you both dearly. I know you've done a ton of work. So, your ability to articulate at one level, we could say, is just helps. But I'd also say at another level, it becomes an obstacle, right? So one of my quotes I tell people is, being smart doesn't make you happier. Just makes your reasons why you're not way more convincing.

VYLANA: Yeah. And I really, actually spoke to him about this before we even started, what I was recognizing yesterday when you were working with people, I mean, you literally within a matter for two people in 15 minutes, completely flipped their story of themselves upside down. Right side up, I should say, And what I was noticing as they would speak was just this reflection of how much we have, the stories about it, because we want to understand so that life makes sense. And what I would love to do now that I've expressed that is to just drop all of my, "And this is why because this happened and that happened," and I want to just be like a clear open vessel to what feels true in my body and in the moment.

PETER: Beautiful, I appreciate that. And I get that about you. I mean, look, you're such a sweetheart, and these patterns can be so insidious. And it's almost like I said, the degree to which you do work, but perhaps aren't necessarily transcending the patterns. It's almost like in a subtle way, you're strengthening them. So, you're aware of becoming a perfectionist, and so being aware of it is, you try not to be which is a form of perfectionism.

VYLANA: Yeah, exactly. I'm so good, I'm not doing my shadow thing. Yeah, exactly.

PETER: You see, so it gets really slippery with someone like you, because it's fun. Like with somebody who hasn't perhaps done this work, ceremonies and all the things you've done, sort of like right there in their face. So, I think one of the ways for us to be able to access it for you is to look at the cost, right? So, in ways that you have normalized and you've become accustomed to, there is that adorable, beautiful girl that I can see doing this dance, and she's just trying so hard and she wants to be the best. But now as a grown woman, and looking at that for three decades, there's a degree of exhaustion that you have integrated as normal. And you've adapted and you've accommodated. So if you were born with this very subtle, but kind of palpable in terms of hearing, tone, just like in the background, but you were born with that. You wouldn't hear it until it stops. Because that had become a normal part of your environment. Does that make sense?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So, likewise for you, it's become a part of your nervous system and who Vy is for you, how you occur for yourself. You've made space for it. But if we can just sort of peel back a layer and go, okay, what are some of the costs? You touched on it superficially, like the competition with women, and then it's obviously going to show up in your past relationships. And even as a young kid not wanting the gift of a trophy, because it's second place, like there's a degree of cost there, right? There's an impact on you. So, as much as you've integrated it, can you just take a minute to see and try and articulate the split ends, the woman that may be as God forbid, prettier than you, smarter than you, seems to be getting more attention than you in a room, perhaps you were saying something that wasn't as well executed or elegant as you'd like it to say, and you feel a... Just all of those moments, what does that feel like when there's that much at stake for you constantly to get it?

VYLANA: I mean, I feel emotional. My nervous system is also like shaking and freaking out.

PETER: That's okay, that's good.

VYLANA: It feels like there's this part of me that always feels like it's being so hyper vigilant about everything, that is actually like terrified.

PETER: Yeah, there's a lot of fear beneath that.

VYLANA: And probably never fully at ease.

PETER: You can get rid of the probably.

VYLANA: Never fully at ease.

PETER: Yeah, just think about that statement. You are never at ease. Look at the life you live, look at your husband, the life that you have gone and curated. But you yourself are never at ease. Just consider that statement. I know it's bold, but I just want to see if you can see that that's a truth for you. I'll give you moments, but for the most part, you're just not at ease. What's that like to live like that?

VYLANA: It's interesting, because my life is so extraordinary. It never escapes me for a moment how grateful I feel for what I experience. But I'm pretty constantly exhausted, particularly when we we're moving at a really fast pace, and we're serving and all these ways. And I get to a place of burnout really easily. And, it's interesting, because how you said it about there, like being born with this noise that you always hear. It's so normal to me that I don't even see it as like a thing. But I can feel it, my whole nervous system is like shaking right now, just to let that idea kind of settle in my being. I don't know any other way then to be this way.

PETER: I get it. But you do. And so we have to differentiate, right? It might have been short lived, but at a deeper level, in terms of the essence of who you are, you know that the way that you have normalized your existence is not normal. So you do know, and we're just appealing to that subtle, deep intelligence, that what you're doing to yourself is not healthy. So you're doing great, but like in the nervous system, like if you've ever seen a National Geographic and a gazelle or a deer is chased by a lion, they're in that state of fight or flight. Now, think about if they were constantly being chased. Think about that, just as a visual. What's that like for that gazelle that is constantly being chased by a lion?

VYLANA: It's just completely exhausted. It's not alive. There isn't a moment to really take in life and what's around you, because it just feels like constantly moving and constantly exhausting itself.

PETER: Now, say the same thing, but without you because you're talking about yourself, but you're talking to me, and it's a safe way of speaking. So, if we're going to get responsibility, which is where your power is, you have to recognize you're doing that.

VYLANA: Yeah, I'm in the example of a gazelle, just constantly being in fight or flight and running from a lion, and marrying that to myself. I'm never in a state where I'm fully present and not exhausted and not running.

PETER: Yeah. How does that show up in your body? Even look at it now, like feel into your body.

VYLANA: Yeah, everything feels tense, my shoulders feel like they're pulled in. I don't feel relaxed at all.

PETER: Yeah. So we can say that's the state of dis-ease, right? The lack of ease, the absence of ease. As a woman, how does that manifest day to day? You're obviously healthy, you do a lot of work, you take care of yourself, you do ceremony, you do biohacking. So you mitigate a lot of it. But where are some of the things that you either see it show up, or where you could sort of see that potential show up?

VYLANA: Yeah, if our life feels fast paced, and I don't have time where I'm just in my own energy, I get really fussy. I can get really moody and frustrated with the load of things to do or people to be around. Or I'm really hypersensitive, and I get very impatient and frustrated and fussy. And it really, it limits my capacity and ways to serve as much as I want to.

AUBREY: One of the things that I can offer too is, there's rarely a time where we're getting ready to do anything because that hour, hour and a half, whatever it is, where Vy is in front of the mirror is a very hyperactive moment of perfectionism. So, we almost rarely ever go into a dinner, a party, or anything, with Vy in a place of feeling free and feeling actually happy or excited about what we're doing. Because that critical eye is always harshly looking like the eye of Sauron upon herself.

VYLANA: And often it's interesting that whenever I'm in front of the mirror, I often have to like coach myself through like negative thinking that I have. So fascinating. And it might not just be directed at myself, but it's just negativity. When you just think in your mind randomly throughout the day--

PETER: I, I, I.

VYLANA: I, thank you. When I think in my mind throughout the day, just any kinds of thoughts, when I'm outside in nature, I'm just having the dialogue in my head. When I'm in front of a mirror, my thoughts tend to be negative about whatever it is that I may be thinking of, whether it's in relation to me or maybe a situation that didn't really sit well with me about an interaction with somebody. It just tends to be a negative space that I have to coach. I often coach myself into being like, "Why are you even thinking like that right now?" I mean, that's a daily thing for me.

PETER: Yeah, that's a lot of energy. What are some of the things you hear that you say in your head when you're looking in that mirror?

VYLANA: God, my hair sucks today. Why does it feel so thin? Why is my skin breaking out? Am I gaining weight? I've been working out so hard, what's happening with my body? And then all the ways to solve the issues that I see. Maybe I need to change my shampoo, or try a new product, or be in this--

AUBREY: We're on shampoo number 87 in the last three years.

PETER: That's not bad actually, compared to some people I help.

VYLANA: And I'm always trying to... I'm definitely in the machine of consumerism. It's like, how do I fix all these things that are wrong or imperfect or broken?

PETER: Yeah, I get it. It's a serious prison. And one that I think a lot of women listening to this and watching this will be grateful to you for your courage, because they can all relate. So, what's the juxtaposition of that? The criticism that you hear, the hair that's too thin, the breaking out skin. What's the vision of perfection that would mitigate all of those comments? What would you hear? What have you heard?

VYLANA: It's interesting, when I've been in medicine and I look in the mirror, I love myself so much. And it's not because my makeup was perfect, or even that I had makeup on. My hair could be dreadlocked, and I can just look in the mirror and see myself truthfully.

AUBREY: Like I see you.

PETER: Yeah, pretty much everybody else. Maybe a couple of idiots out there, I don't know. Yeah, but to the question, what have you heard? Apart from how you see you when you're in that ceremony state, what did you hear growing up about you, about your looks, about your hair, about your appearance? I'm leaning towards the positive. What does every little girl usually hear regardless?

VYLANA: I mean, I remember the reflections of people around me saying how cute I was or dazzling. I heard a lot of positive things. I can't think of anything really specifically, but I do remember a lot of positive feedback. And my mother was very, very beautiful. As I said, she was goddess. And it's actually fascinating now, something is arising if I could share, but--

PETER: Please.

VYLANA: I remember being little, and my mother was very beautiful, very feminine, always put together. She never looked like a mess or messy. And women would judge her all the time. I would watch them as I would walk behind her, and give them stinky faces, because I could just feel so much judgment from women towards my mom. And it would make me really angry. But I remember that more so than things that I felt with myself.

PETER: Yeah, it's so beautiful, because this is going to be such a gift not just for you, and obviously, your amazing husband and family, but for women. Because even in the little bit that you just shared there, like your mother was so beautiful, and she was so feminine and always put together, there's just such a misnomer about what you said. And I don't know if you get it, I get it. You live in that world, but that's where you're sort of literally living at 50%. And that's a struggle for you. Where was dad in this? I haven't heard anything about dad.

VYLANA: My dad was there when I was a little girl. My parents didn't divorce until I was about 12. When we were young, we spent time but it wasn't very intimate time. He worked a lot. From my perception, his way of loving our family was to provide for us. And him and I didn't really become close until my parents divorced. And that was when he sort of showed up to really be a intricate, very close part of my life. But yeah, I mean, I didn't feel any negative... I wouldn't say there was... I felt that he was proud of me. But it didn't feel like a presence that was communicative or reflecting or mirroring anything to me. He was there, and he was really stable, but it didn't feel like a deeply intimate kind of relationship.

PETER: What was his relationship like with your mom?

VYLANA: Kind of same thing. My perception was that he was lit up when he was in situations with his buddies, and they're playing games, and watching football and playing pool. It kind of seemed like that lit him up more than anything else.

PETER: Do you have siblings?

VYLANA: I do, I have a little sister.

PETER: Where's she? What's she like? What's your relationship?

VYLANA: We have an incredible relationship now, but we hated each other until we were about 22.

PETER: Okay, that's a good chunk of time.

VYLANA: She's two and a half years younger than me, and we did not get along as kids.

PETER: Okay. So, if I could wave a wand, what would you declare as something that you'd like for yourself?

VYLANA: I would love to wake up in the morning when my hair looks like I got in a fight with a weed whacker, and is crazy, and I have bags under my eyes and I have no makeup on, and my skin is oily, and I look... I sleep really crazy. And I would love to just wake up and feel like I love myself like that. Like I don't need to do anything to be good enough, and impress anybody, and I don't hear those voices in my head that just exhausts me. I would love to just feel completely in love with who I am without anything.

PETER: Okay, cool. Sounds good. How's that for you, Aubrey?

AUBREY: Sounds like a dream.

PETER: Sounds like your world.

VYLANA: Sounds like it.

PETER: And the way he perceives you. So, listen, this is fun because I'm sort of like just leading you, obviously, as I do to a point where you're going to sort of see the light at the end of the tunnel and go, "Duh." Because you've done so much work. So, the reason I gave attention to the way that you spoke about your mom, she's beautiful, you used the term goddess, she's always put together. So, in your own understanding, can you see where the lie is in the way that you delineated the feminine?

VYLANA: Hmm, that she was always put together.

PETER: Yeah, now just think about that. See, what I hear is, that Vy has, which is what we do in language, we create a container. So, that's the way it is. We use the word is. So it's reality. What we don't understand is, the way we use is, isn't descriptive. It's creative. If you just get that distinction, it's very powerful. Like you could say, "Oh, he is an asshole," about someone who's being rude. Or, she is beautiful. But we declare it as though it's the way it is. But it's not. It's just a point of view. But to us, it's truth. So, what I hear in the way that you've connected experiences from dancing, competing, coming second, winning, the mother who's always put together, you have a story of is, about what beauty is, right? And beauty for you has collapsed with worth. And so, that's why there's so much at stake when you're getting ready, or you're going out somewhere or you wake up and your hair looks like you've been hit by a weed whacker. Because the way that you relate to yourself, consequently, and then life, and certainly as it relates to the way that you get accepted or don't, is in that container of what it is to be feminine. And even in the language that I know you guys use of queen and king and goddess, which they're fine. They're just not accurate. But they tend to reinforce the way that you think you have to be. Can you feel into that? It's not a choice for you. You don't have any choice. It's a have to. And what's it like for you to live a life where you have to?

VYLANA: It just feels limited and constricted and not free.

PETER: Totally, yeah. So, going back to my question. So what is the lie as it relates to the way that you describe the feminine using your mother as the archetype? That she's a goddess, that she was always put together, she embodied the feminine. Which anybody, a lay person listening to that, like, oh my God, her mom sounds extraordinary. Oh my god, I want to be that. And there's this sort of aspirational quality which you're embodying and have done for three plus two decades. Because of course, your mom never had gas, and she never had a heavy cycle, and she never had diarrhea, she never threw up. She was the one human that was saved all of these like very biological things that we get. Right? I'm assuming. So, I'm sort of helping you a little bit with the lies. So, living in that world, can you see that you've collapsed femininity, with being put together with some realm of Goddess, which we can all get a visual about. Collapsed with the way that you've probably heard that you're beautiful, and you're pretty as a little girl. So, all of that becomes your value proposition. And why is value important for a human being?

VYLANA: I mean, it's what dictates the way that you act and--

PETER: Not me, a human being, but it's better if you say I.

VYLANA: I. How I value something is the way that it dictates in the way that I act in my life.

AUBREY: And how you love yourself.

VYLANA: And how I love myself.

PETER: Right, and that's your relationship to you. But why generally, for a human being, can you see the value, any kind of value, whatever it is, and there's multiple buckets that we all rely on, is of such paramount importance to a human being?

VYLANA: I don't know how to answer.

PETER: That's okay. Give it a minute. I'll ask again, take your time. So, why is having some value proposition and in your case, especially being a woman, especially having heard that you're beautiful, you're pretty, having a mother who you aspire to be, to emulate, which we mimic as kids, who was a goddess in your eyes, who was always put together. I'm just using your words. That to me creates this container that you live within, which is where you see, you see value. But why is that value so important to anyone, particularly you?

VYLANA: It feels like it's the way that I perceive I will be loved.

PETER: Bingo. That's pretty important for a human, right? So, now understanding that container that you live in, and the means by which you try to garner love is through your parents, your hair, your skin, your whatever, that one and a half hours you need to get ready, blah, blah, blah. Can you see the pressure that you're constantly under, which is that gazelle that's in fight or flight, running? But in this case, what you're doing is you're under the impression that by means of appearance, something that you do, something that you look at to improve that is the way that you are going to get accepted.

VYLANA: So, everything for me is conditional.

PETER: Yeah. And what's it like to live that life knowing that you're constantly trying to seek that approval, and you're using the means of appearance to do it?

VYLANA: It doesn't feel very stable, or safe, or useful.

PETER: For sure. And as somebody I would assert who's committed to genuine relationships, who wants intimacy, and I don't collapse that with physical. It's like connecting presents. What does that prevent you from having if your game that you're playing internally 24/7 is I have to appear a certain way in order to be loved and accepted by everybody else? What does that preclude from you? What does that not allow you to access?

VYLANA: I mean, it feels like just true intimacy, like real, real intimacy.

PETER: Yeah, that you can't access, right? Yeah, because where's your focus?

VYLANA: On my appearance and how somebody is perceiving me based on my own value system with myself.

PETER: Yeah. Yeah. So, what's that like to look at that, and to feel that that's the world you're living in, that's the relationship that you are in?

VYLANA: Feels painful. I guess there's a bit of grief, because I do feel... I do in my heart, feel intimacy with people. But to also feel like there's like a greater capacity to experience it authentically just feels sad.

PETER: Yeah, it's pretty isolating, isn't it? For somebody who's loving and kind as you, who desperately is trying to connect, you're actually leaving yourself completely alone. When you see that, it is painful.

VYLANA: Yeah, until like the last three years being with Aubrey, I've...

PETER: It's okay, this is great. It's okay.

VYLANA: I felt very alone in life.

PETER: Yeah, especially when you're in relationships that were nothing like the one you're in. What was that like? You're alone and you're in a relationship with somebody who I'm guessing that's far from loving?

VYLANA: Very, very painful.

PETER: Yeah, maybe at times, literally, physically, right?

VYLANA: Yeah. Like catastrophic, devastating, and that really is painful.

PETER: Yeah. Because you didn't stop trying, but it just didn't work there, right?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So the only means to try and get love and acceptance from the world was falling apart, which of course, then tends to garner trying harder and harder and harder.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: A lot of submission, a lot of denial of yourself, right?

VYLANA: Yeah, and it's interesting because most of my past relationships, there was lying or betrayal or another woman, and in a sense, not being chosen. And, ironically, I was never really choosing myself in a true way.

PETER: I think betrayal is a great word.

VYLANA: Betrayal of myself.

PETER: Yeah, where can you see that?

VYLANA: I mean, I've gotten a lot better working with them. I'm in Mama Gena's Pleasure Tri-Certification, and having her voice in my head that won't be a stand for that critic in my head is very, very helpful. So, I feel like I've gotten a lot better, but the betrayal is, it's just the tiny criticisms and self judgment that I have all the time.

PETER: So I'm going to, as is my want, I have a little twist here for you that might be shocking. And I know Mama Gena, or whatever, it doesn't matter, no offense to her. But being a stamp, or not being a stamp for the critic, I would assert is one of your big problems. Now, why would I say that?

VYLANA: Maybe in a way I'm criticizing myself now.

PETER: Yeah, well. So let's come full circle. So, your mom the goddess who's always put together representing the feminine, why does that fall so short? And why is there so immense amount of pressure on you and a lot of women these days? Because that's how the archetype of the feminine has been described.

VYLANA: I think it it doesn't allow for something that I actually really stand for, which is the parts that are messy, and not put together, and rageful, and full of grief, and jealous, and just real and authentic.

PETER: Yeah. Did you get what you just said?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: Where's the put together in that?

VYLANA: zero. And it's actually what I love most. And I feel in ways, I think this is very nuanced. But my album, my music, the initiation I've been going through the past two years, has been allowing myself to be my full spectrum, which is not put together, which is not perfect. It's fucking messy, like birth. And that's what I feel attracted to right now, in the feminine. I want to see the part of you that's not just like, I'm love and light. Sometimes I want to say fuck you, sometimes I want to just be just real, and not in this container, or this box of society says this is good, or my value system and my being says this is the way. I'm actually betraying a sense of what I see as, in another aspect of me as the most valuable and the most beautiful.

PETER: Right. So that's why I said the word betrayal was very apropos for you. And now you're starting to put it together. So, little girl creates her own definition of the feminine, can't even take a fucking second place trophy. So, you started the foundation of perfectionism as you saw it as a value proposition to garner love and acceptance. So, it was a coping mechanism. And for that reason, you were smart as a little girl, but now you've got this conflict between that which is sort of somatic. It's part of who you are in your body, in your subconscious, which is the predominant power with the intellectual woman who's like, no, but I'm going to stand for fuck it, and sometimes be real is what you said. I'm like, let's get rid of the sometimes. To me, this is the most attractive you've looked in the whole time that we've been talking.

VYLANA: Thank you.

PETER: And why do I say that?

VYLANA: Because it's true, it's real.

PETER: Yeah, it's the most real, not that I can't appreciate the quality of how you did your hair, and the makeup, and if it's beautiful.

VYLANA: I feel like messing it up.

PETER: Yeah, like I personally, for me the weed whacker look, that's hot. Because there's no barrier. And as part of the expression of the feminine, there is the joy, the beauty, the exploration of one's divine goddess nature that can have different forms that are made up, right? So, can you see a little girl's perspective mother and you adored her, and I love that, but the adoration became like for you the misinterpretation of what a woman is.

VYLANA: Yeah, and I mean, absolutely. And I also, I just, I feel as a woman, growing up and seeing Cosmopolitan magazine and all the stars that look this way and that way, and constantly idolizing this idolized image of what beauty and femininity and success and all of those types of things, what does that look like? I remember being super young and like I want to wear makeup, and I want... All the magazines say all this stuff and just the conditioning of...

PETER: Yeah, so I'm just going to change it a little bit. "When I wanted to wear makeup," I want you to consider that I that is speaking is not you. That's the inner critic that we're not a stand for, which is why I said I want to turn that upside down. Again, with all due respect, whoever has helped you in the past. Everyone's got their own methods. But I want you to consider that I that wanted that little girl, that wanted to put on the makeup that then subsequently criticizes herself for the breakout skin, the weed whacker hair, whatever it is. That's the part of you that you've yet to actually integrate and love. So, in your own words, how would you interpret what I just said? You can use visuals, you can use feelings.

VYLANA: What I think I got from what you said is that my inner critic that valued the world, society's way of what beauty looks like and interpreted that as the embodiment of the feminine. And that that voice is still something that I haven't fully integrated and found love for, and brought back into myself. There's still some level of like fracturing or separation with that part of myself.

PETER: And how well is that working trying not to allow that to be the... As much as a stand as you are.

VYLANA: It's continuing--

PETER: Pretty persistent, huh?

VYLANA: Yeah, I mean, it's just continuing the perfectionism in another funny way.

PETER: Yeah, it's another slice of that same behavioral adaptation, isn't it? I'm going to get this right, I'm going to be a stand, I'm not going to have the critic, I'm going to get this fucking... I'm going to be the best at not having a critic.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: Doh.

VYLANA: Was that like a Homer Simpson do'h?

PETER: Well, it was mine but yeah, I think he might have started it. Yeah. Isn't that funny?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So, now you can start to see the mechanisms by which you've tried to garner value, which is really the part of you that you are not that is founded in just the human fear of not being loved and accepted, which we all have. But you are under the impression, where were you trying to get that love and acceptance?

VYLANA: From my mother, from everything outside of me.

PETER: Yeah, pretty much anyone who would fucking give it to you really. Wherever you are, whatever guy you're with at the time, wherever, like you're speaking in front of a group. Basically to have it all and come all-inclusive is just the outside world.

AUBREY: What's interesting, just to reflect is, when you're in that mindset, no matter what I say, you won't really listen or no matter what anybody says. Like I could with full heart and radical present consciousness just reflect how absolutely gorgeous she is, but there's a veneer that it won't penetrate past and other people can say it too. It's like, it just won't make it through the forcefield.

VYLANA: I'm sorry.

AUBREY: You don't need to apologize, my love. I love you just as you are with all of this, with the forcefield, love all of it.

PETER: But if we can, we might as well get rid of it.

VYLANA: I'd like that.

PETER: It's like an emotional condom.

VYLANA: Man, I didn't know I'd cry the whole time.

AUBREY: Yeah, it is. Emotional condom.

VYLANA: Condoms are lame.

PETER: Yeah, I've used that with a few people. They were like, "Oh my God, that's so accurate, and inappropriate at the same time. Yeah, you're trying to penetrate life and you're just not getting anywhere. Dammit, I'm going to [inaudible 56:26] perfectly. It's like, "You might want to take the condom off."

VYLANA: Oh my God. I like that.

PETER: Isn't that cool? You're so beautiful when you just aren't conscious of yourself. So what I want you to really get from this, and again, why I said this was going to be easy. But for you, it's so subtle. And sometimes that can be moderately difficult, because like I mentioned earlier, one of the quotes, like being smart doesn't make you happier, it just makes your reasons why you're not more convincing, because you're able to rationalize everything. But fundamentally, the way that you have constructed, the way that you relate to life which is primal, which is I want love and acceptance, for you is through appearance. And for guys, it can be strength, it can be wealth, it can be status. For women too, but usually it's around appearance for a woman, and particularly for you, I'm sure you heard. So your conditioning is oh, there's a different energy that I receive when someone's saying, oh my God, you're so pretty, I love your hair, versus don't do that Vy, or you came second. There's a different resonance that you pick up on. And of course, we're going to favor what feels like love and acceptance. And so you collapse that energy with something about you. And so, it's only natural, so factor that well, I want to have that energy. So I'm going to default to what garnered it, which is something about my appearance. Now you develop that tendency to perfectionism. But the biggest lie of all that you've yet to get, but hopefully will, or you're getting soon, is that you think the love and acceptance is exogenous, that it's from somebody else. So, why is that the lie? And why can it never ever be fulfilled?

VYLANA: Because I'm still not loving myself.

PETER: Right. Now, be a little bit more articulate because I'm going to hold you to a higher standard. So, in language, why can it never be fulfilled? And this by the way, for anyone also listening, this is the genesis of every addiction.

VYLANA: It feels like the only place that it can really come from is myself, because whether or not like the same mirror that Aubrey just reflected of, even with that, it's not satiating or fulfilling the love within me for myself. It's almost like a hungry ghost. If I don't get that, then I'm not enough. So I'm always going to be searching for it. It's insatiable.

PETER: It is. Hence why I said it's the genesis of every addiction. So, listen to my definition of addiction is, you can never get enough of something that almost works. Let that hit.

VYLANA: Yeah. Yeah, it's like having a quick hit, but it never heals what--

PETER: And the reason being is because the energy that promotes the behavior, that seeks the resolution or the relief, in this case for you in your appearance, to feel good enough about yourself that you're presentable to get the value. For somebody else, it's an actual substance where they get relief. But the genesis of that is the thorn in your side, which is the lie that who you are isn't loved by just being you. So as a kid, and I really want you to get this, and this may give you the chills, it's giving me the chills. As a baby, we don't have a narrative or a conversation that we're not loved for who we are. We don't have conversation, we don't have language. Auntie is holding us in our Prada dress, we throw up, because I'm an infant. That's not like, oh shit, and it's definitely not an old shit. It's fucking Gucci, Prada. That doesn't exist. It's just like we're being. And it's kind of adorable, and it's actually cute and a parent will take care of it. But at some point, you learn, like every human being that just being you, just being you is insufficient. And you chose your path of trying to find sufficiency. Can you see that?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: And that's the word of pressure and suffering and exhaustion that you've been living in for three plus decades. But why it doesn't work is because it's not for the outside world to try and compensate for the part of you that feels as insufficient. The opportunity is one.

VYLANA: Can you say that again?

PETER: Yeah. It's not the way that we present it to ourselves, the way it occurs to us. And certainly for you, is we think it's incumbent upon the rest of the world to provide enough value, acknowledgement, accolades and love to compensate for our own feeling of insufficiency. And that's why it can never be filled. Because if everybody's playing that game, first of all, you see the futility of it. Think about that, it's kind of comical, right? You're putting yourself together, you're getting ready, your hair, your skin, the 87th shampoo, whatever it is. Meanwhile, wherever you're at, in your time zone, there's millions of women who are on their way to dinner, what are they doing?

VYLANA: The same thing.

PETER: And you want them to validate you? You hope they'll give you the love? What are they wanting?

VYLANA: I mean, in truth, the same thing that I'm wanting.

PETER: Right, now you see the futility, right? You start to see how comical it is as human beings, and how really uninvolved we are that we live in a place of inadequacy and insecurity, everybody. But what we are doing is we're hoping that somebody else from a position of inadequacy and security is going to provide the adequacy and security for us. You can literally walk around the high streets of your local town and say, "Hey, thanks for looking good for me today." What, I don't know you. "But you took a lot of time, you look great." I really appreciate it. That's silly. So, what is the only way to truly reconcile this mechanism? It's okay, if you don't know. But I mean, I'm just--

VYLANA: I mean, the answer that comes to mind just feels like a very... I mean, it's just, love myself.

PETER: Okay, so that's a good statement, but it's a little generic, and until such time that we know what the self is, I don't know if that's accurate. So I need you to--

VYLANA: To love and integrate that inner critic voice that I have.

PETER: That's a little different than what you said earlier, isn't it?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: How does that hear? If you really get, that's why I said, I'm going to turn that around for you. Before you were a stand, quote, unquote, almost against creating resistance, now you just made space for that critic.

VYLANA: Yeah, it feels a lot more tender and compassionate, and less of a perfectionist. It feels like less trying, and more embracing.

PETER: That sounds pretty feminine to me.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: Not so put together, but does that matter?

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: Like imagine the most doting unconditionally loving mother, and her kid's on the floor. Just come in from outside, playing in the mud, and they got the new white carpets. Now, I'm not saying it's ideal, but what is that mother's energy towards that child? Assuming she's somewhat evolved.

VYLANA: Accepting, seeing them in their wild childhood, and not scolding and screaming at them?

PETER: Yeah. Worrying about the fucking carpet. Yeah, that to me is now you're getting closer to a definition of feminine that I can be with. See, you only had half the definition. And it's a wonderful half. I mean, I really admire when women put all this time and attention, they want to look beautiful and the whole world of cosmetics and clothes and hair products. It's awesome, but that's not the whole picture.

VYLANA: Yeah, it's also the relationship to it.

PETER: I'd say, beyond also, it's more importantly that's what it is. Because that's the embodiment in the material world of the feminine. But to get to the real feminine, you have to get to the essence. And that's the bit that you were missing.

VYLANA: And this is very helpful. After Burning Man, at some point this year, we want to become parents, and to have this invitation for healing within myself, will be really helpful for me as a mother.

PETER: Yeah. And for your child, and for your husband, and for your community, and for every woman that's listening to this, and man, because there's a lot of men who equally have become skewed to think that that's what their wife, girlfriend, sister, mother is supposed to look like, with all the best intentions. But it doesn't make room for the vastness of what it is to be a woman, or to be feminine.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So, can you perhaps, and you don't have to get it right, but recategorize, redefine the goddess, the feminine.

VYLANA: And articulate it.

PETER: Yeah, it doesn't have to be perfect, and you'll play with it after this. But like even if you want to envisage your mom, give your mom a little bit of a break.

VYLANA: It's funny yesterday how you said, a client that you worked with, after doing this work had a different memory of something. My mother actually had a lot of Kali men and Pele energy, and had wild anger.

PETER: Yeah, I'm shocked.

VYLANA: There were a lot of sides to her. But the part that I sort of distilled was just the essence that I articulated earlier.

PETER: Yeah, because that's your journey. That's where you thought you were going to find value. That's what you incarnated in.

VYLANA: And those other parts of her that were wild and angry, or rageful, scared me. So I actually had a really long process of exhaling, doing a very good job of exiling the parts that didn't feel, I guess my own perception of feminine.

PETER: Yeah, so you did a good job as a coping mechanism. You did a lousy job as a woman.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So, I'm going to have to give you this second place trophy.

VYLANA: I'll take it.

PETER: Progress. Yeah, amazing. So, I want you to consider even the way that you speak, when you say there's this I, I want you to consider the only thing that you've been missing, and it's not only in small, it's everybody. But there's this part of you that is associated with your humanity, which is beautiful. But it's for that reason under the impression that it needs to survive. And that part of you that needs to survive, you've used the mechanism of your appearance of beauty, of the goddess previously defined as the mechanism for it to survive. And you were under the impression that it needed to get that love, security, accolades from the outside world. But if that's a part of you, and by extension, it's actually a part of everybody, what's the new opportunity?

VYLANA: Can you repeat that one more time?

PETER: Sure. So, there's a part of you, the thing that I was saying that I felt you and by extension everyone is missing, is the part of you that because you're human is under the impression that as I said, at a young age, you decided that being you was insufficient or not enough. And the way that you sought to get that sense of value that was missing was from the outside world, and you used the mechanism of appearance and beauty, and what you previously defined as the goddess, as the access to trying to find being loved and accepted. So that part of you, what's now the new opportunity?

VYLANA: I don't know why it feels... Like it just keeps coming up for me to... It's like bringing all of that back into myself.

PETER: Yeah. But again, expand on that. So, why I'm using the words, particularly... See, humans collapse, multi facets of what it is to be human into the one word, I. There's just individual I. I want you to consider this, Vy, with multiple archetypes that you could embody, and you sort of just pushed everything to one side, and this goddess feminine as you previously defined as, that's who you have to be. I'm introducing you to the part that you actually were a stand against. And I'm wanting to make space and expand, which is really what love is, to go oh, there's a part of me that by default, because I'm human feels inadequate, insecure, sense of scarcity. And then we use whatever means we need to, to try and garner that from the outside world, which is the addiction. Because you can't get it because the mechanism that's trying to get it is by design, flawed. So, in lay terms, there's a part of you that's flawed. And you've done what have you done, as we've described in this conversation to try and mitigate that, overcome it, compensate for it. But it doesn't work. So then what's the opportunity?

VYLANA: I mean, it feels like just to just accept all of me. The parts that are messy, the parts that are... It's just loving that realness.

PETER: So, perfect. So again, to keep it simple, like really sort of like everybody's bipolar at one level, you have a part of you that by design, by design, is flawed, imperfect, feels inadequate. And yet, the mechanism that uses is to try and garner all of the things that it feels insufficient about and have from the outside world. But we've just seen that doesn't work. Because you're perpetuating the idea that there's something wrong with that, and then you're trying to fix it. The world of fixing, that's how people live. But when you step back and you see oh, that's a part of my humanity. So, you did say it, but the love and acceptance opportunity is not to try and get it, but to have it for the part of you that doesn't feel it.

VYLANA: Yeah, yeah.

PETER: Then everybody can think whatever the fuck they want to think about you. So, now all of a sudden you went from never getting it to always having it.

VYLANA: Yeah. Yeah, and it feels like being in that place of, being as Ray would say, unfuckwithable. Because there's still elements of me that get, that wiggle when there's a negative reflection or judgment, or people saying mean things on Instagram. I haven't overcome, because there's some part of me that's in this world of value that I'm living in, that to some degree agrees with it. And then that impacts me.

PETER: Doesn't impact you. It impacts that part of you that will never ever feel sufficient. Do you have a scar, physical scar anywhere on your body?

VYLANA: Mm-hmm.

PETER: On your right knee?

VYLANA: My knee, yeah.

PETER: Okay, great. How long ago did that happen?

VYLANA: I was probably like seven. We were in Hawaii, my family lives in Hawaii. And I was... From a volcano rock, just took off some of my skin.

PETER: Good, now until I asked you, do you have a scar, was your attention on that?

VYLANA: No, I forgot I had it.

PETER: That's what happens to this part when you integrate it, accept it, and aren't trying to do anything about it. That scar has been there but doesn't impact you. The quote unquote, psychological emotional scar of what it is to be human is by default, the feeling of inadequacy, the feeling of separation, the feeling of insecurity, everybody's got it. And then everybody has their means of trying to mitigate it through external means. But it doesn't work. Because what you're doing is saying, oh, no, I'm not supposed to have that. You even said, like stand against that part of me. That's what I said, with all due respect. It's the opposite. That part of you is asking to be part of you.

VYLANA: It's asking to be loved.

PETER: That's all it is. Which is the feminine. How ironic. You thought you were being the feminine, which was a complete denial--

VYLANA: How hubris of me.

PETER: So, what a beautiful prelude to you being a mother, that you finally get to understand what it is to be a mother. Which is to recognize that by design, you can't help but at times, be, feel, express imperfection. And that is part of your beauty. So you've only, only been fighting your humanity.

VYLANA: Easy battle.

PETER: And wondering why it's not working. Again one of my quotes that say, one of the hardest parts of being human is being human. Now you get to actually be human. But isn't that beautiful?

VYLANA: It really is. It just feels so much more like fluid, and flowy and soft and gentle. Like my nervous system no longer feels contracted. It feels really relaxed and at ease. And actually I keep having this thought in my head. One of the members here yesterday was really sweet. She was having a moment and just, she was crying and just having a moment at how beautiful the experience of being in this container is. And, I came over and I just gave her a hug, and I gave her some love. And she said, "I can't believe people like you exist." And she looked me in the eye with her eyes hearing and just said, "I see your beauty that's on the inside." And like made it a point to say it multiple times. Because she wasn't looking at my face or my hair, what I was wearing. It was like, I see you on the inside. That was really meaningful to receive.

PETER: Yeah, so how ironic that the language you used as you went over, gave her a hug to give her some love, and yet, what did you get?

VYLANA: Love. I received it.

PETER: Yeah. And beyond received it, you could say I revealed it. And that's what we're awakening here. Because see, I want you to understand, love doesn't have an agenda. But you've been living with an incomplete agenda. And through no fault of your own, which is actually where love and compassion comes in. Because it's kind of adorable that this little girl, now a woman, has had so much focus, attention, energy. It's exhausting isolation around the way that she was hoping to be loved and accepted. Meanwhile, all along, the place to look, as they said, I've forgotten the story, but like someone said, God's got to hide somewhere and they're like, what's the best place to look? Well, hide inside of everybody. No one looks there. Terrible paraphrasing, but the point is that you're looking for the love from everybody else. And in fact, what's asking to be activated is the love that you are, and love is totally capable of making space for the part of you, the part of you that feels it needs love because it's imperfect.

VYLANA: It's such a subtle shift, but it's so profound.

PETER: Isn't it? And it's true freedom, because now you can look like this on camera with mascara and tears, and I promise you there's a lot of mascara and tears on the other side of the lens, and love that they thought you're giving them, that they're also revealing which is, I'm human. And by design for that reason I'm imperfect and I'm totally okay with that.

VYLANA: Yeah, it it actually feels as interesting when we started this conversation about like the war on cancer, and the war... I mean even the mentality that I had of being a stand for, stand against, it's like this, I need to purge this, I need to get rid of this, which is actually like opposite of the way I see most of life and the world.

PETER: Mentally.

VYLANA: Mentally, and yes, and yet I'm still--

PETER: You were, past tense.

VYLANA: Were, thank you. Any yet I was in that war with myself, and now reprospecting, having that perspective shift is really, really massive. And it feels gentle and sweet.

PETER: Yeah. I can be worse. But...

VYLANA: You've been very gentle with me, thank you.

AUBREY: It occurs to me that there's perhaps more on the feminine than the masculine. There's a war on your age. I would just invite you to share it from your perspective. The war against age starts young, where young women, girls, want to be women. Because they see the magazines, they see the movie stars. It's like, you're young, and you're like this isn't good. I'm young, I want to be older, I want to have bigger boobs--

VYLANA: Don't savor what it is to be--

AUBREY: I want to have bigger boobs, I want to have makeup, I want to be older, older, older. And then you reach this point, and then you're competing with everybody of that same. And then you start to get older and then it's a war to be younger. And the war to be younger is leading to more Botox, more surgery, more implants, more this, more that. And this war can continue for the entirety of your life. It's such a tragedy for me to see the actual true beauty being at war with whatever time and whatever stage that you're in. It's a perpetual battle.

PETER: Yeah, I mean, really, again, one of the quotes because that's how language comes through me. I say, we'll never have world peace as long as people are at war with themselves.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: And it really is, and males have their own version, around performance and wealth and status and strength and speed and even looks to a certain degree. But for the women in that primal kind of default, it's the beauty, right? And the man, it's the strength and the stability. But if you can really go to where I'm pointing to and inviting you to dive into, age becomes redundant. Now, why can I say that?

VYLANA: I mean, it feels like it's not something that you're like measuring yourself by.

PETER: I definitely am not, and we could say one. I know you're talking collective--

VYLANA: I, sorry, yes.

PETER: No, it's okay, you were accurate. But it's just whilst during this phase, it's good for you to own it. So, why is age redundant from the space that I'm speaking about that I'm inviting you to be? Did you have a grandma that you loved or?

VYLANA: I did, yeah.

PETER: Yeah, and as a little girl, looking at an old woman, to what degree were you conscious of age?

VYLANA: Not at all.

PETER: Because what were you focused on?

VYLANA: Just her being.

PETER: Which was?

VYLANA: Beautiful and wise and loving.

PETER: Yeah, focus on the latter, right? Loving. So, why is age redundant?

VYLANA: I don't know how to answer.

PETER: That's okay. What mechanisms were you using to try and get something from the outside world?

VYLANA: Beauty.

PETER: Right, so that was the means by which you were trying, that was your agenda, the addiction that was unfulfillable.

VYLANA: So, age feels like it's the same thing as the beauty in that perspective.

PETER: From that perspective, for part of you, that that part of you is unfulfillable. It's a flawed design of being human. It's actually the gift that it is to be human, because without that we don't actually get to learn the quality that we're here to learn, which is love. So then why is age redundant? Again, this is deep. So again, I'm asking you profound questions.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: From what you just discovered, what have you just discovered, like in lay terms for yourself?

VYLANA: That accepting and loving myself for all of the parts of me that are imperfect, criticizing, calling all of that back into myself, and just having a loving acceptance of all of me is the new story.

PETER: Great. And is that love dependent on age?

VYLANA: No.

PETER: Right. So then why is age redundant? What are we really looking for?

VYLANA: Love.

PETER: Right. And is love dependent on age?

VYLANA: No.

PETER: Do you see? Isn't that cool? Hence why I asked about grandma.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: So now can you recontextualize who it is to be Vy?

VYLANA: I can hear the quote that Blu always says, I'll probably mess it up a little bit, but it's not about how you look or what you do, but it's about how much you love. That feels like... And that being a mirror to the opportunity that I have with myself to love all of me.

PETER: Right. And so I would just put the little caveat there, the disclaimer, of how much you love can be interpreted of like how much you love as a verb. But I want to invite you to consider it a way of existing. it's not a thing you do. That's the difference. Because a lot of women, their means of garnering acceptance is that people... Your perfectionism is a little bit more about you and your appearance. For a lot of women, their perfectionism is oh, I've got to be more of a care provider, I've got to do better. The guy that keeps hitting them, like, "If I'm a better wife, he won't hit me." I have to do, love more, with the complete absence of love--

VYLANA: For self.

PETER: For them. So their form of abuse is literal, your form of abuse is self-imposed. And still, literally, it's an experience that affects your nervous system, your sleep, and everything else, is ironically, the precursor to things you don't like about your skin and your hair, because you're in a state of dis-ease, right?

VYLANA: And probably how I'm constantly manifesting everything.

PETER: Yeah, that's what I mean. That's the irony, is you're going to look way more beautiful when you "don't give a shit." Because the body is in a state of homeostasis and vitality and things are flowing. Yeah, so now if we look, we're shifting like the priority, and where we're putting our attention on what we consider to be of importance. Your focus was in the catch-all bucket of appearance. Now, where can you shift your focus of what's of significance for you?

VYLANA: Yeah, I mean, the value is how I love myself completely.

PETER: Very first podcast I did with this beautiful man here, one of the biggest responses I got to the thing that I said, is I said to him, I'm in love. Now, most people hear that as, oh, that's cool, who with?

VYLANA: "With who?"

PETER: I said, "No, I'm in love." That's different. And I don't think I got more DMs on any podcasts I did from that, of like, wow, like that hit hard. So, what I hope you get from this is that I just introduced you to being in love. Not as something you do, not as a practice, I have to love myself. No, you're just in love, but you weren't. I know this sounds hard, but you are in a degree of hate.

VYLANA: Yeah, that feels very... That reframe feels very expansive in my heart. My whole heart felt like it just opened as everything continued to relax more.

PETER: Yeah.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: Yeah. Isn't that beautiful?

VYLANA: And to reflect on what you said, being in love, and this is something that came to me as an idea recently of, because I'm 35, and my body is changing. And it's the first time I'm really experiencing that in my life. I haven't been in a battle with it. But it's something that I've been noticing. And one thing that I wanted to commit with myself is being in love with 35, being in love with what it looks like to be 36 and 40 and 60. And, doing my best to not want to change that, and to like really just what you said, just be in love.

PETER: Yeah, well, for the first time in your life, you now actually have a shot at doing that.

VYLANA: Yeah. I think that as a woman in the world, that that's a really revolutionary act.

PETER: It's massive. That's why I said at the beginning, the difference you'll be making for women who are playing the game maybe in different iterations, but there's a lot of focus on appearance for sure, will be looking at themselves now going, "Holy shit, like I have actually at the deepest level been hating myself." That is not an aspect of love. And yet on the surface, the masquerade, the façade is, I'm so loving, you gave that woman love not realizing actually what you were getting was, oh, I might not be in love myself.

VYLANA: Yeah.

AUBREY: And what a beautiful act of service to not reify and make real all of those ideas and constructs that put you at war against yourself. But instead recognize yourself as a unique perspective in a field of loving awareness. And that your incarnation as well as your awareness is in a constant state of evolution. And it's evolving through age, through time, through experience. But every iteration and evolution of that unique perspective is still actually always abiding in the field of loving awareness, which collectively in totality, which we all share in a holistic sense, is perfect. This world if anything is perfect, the whole world itself, the whole cosmos itself must be perfect. It is. It can't be better than. It can't be, this is the fucked up cosmos. I mean, now, that's a real shit way to live is that we're in an imperfect cosmos. It has to be perfect, because you're participating in the whole of everything. In the whole of everything, it either is love, or it isn't. And so, it goes and speaks to the whole worldview about the whole universe itself.

VYLANA: Yeah. And in the same way, it's like the mirror of how empowered do you feel to see your own war within yourself, or the struggle within as directly mirrored to what you see outside of yourself, and the heroic thing to do is this. And it's the thing I'm the most empowered to do, and then through the process to be able to share it. And that feels really, really good.

PETER: And beyond share it, your presence is enough. There's an expression I use, when you embody that frequency, people feel it. There's someone who's become friends recently of mine, who I actually haven't spent much time with her. But I've spoken to her husband a lot. And they're a beautiful couple, older. And she's one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. And because she's not done anything, and she's okay with that. And there's a peace about her that's palpable. Now, we could argue, genetically, I think she modeled maybe when she's a little younger, so she's got good features and long gray hair. And just is to Aubrey’s point, the embodiment of love of whatever stage her humanity is at. So, you start to see, like these cameras that now obviously have higher technology and different but before, there's the light. And then there's the film, like especially in a motion picture that is scrolling before the light that projects onto the screen. And so the light throws our life out there for us to see, for others to see. But there's a constant flux, it's never the same. Even now in this hour and bit we've been chatting, our bodies are literally different by virtue of cells dying, autophagy, new cells being born, right? Which is a weird thought for most people, like--

AUBREY: Tear ducts being drained.

VYLANA:I feel it. My whole body feels so wildly different.

PETER: Okay, good. Yeah, because you're definitely a [inaudible 01:33:27] person. So, as you saw when I work with someone, the degree to which our energetic signature of trauma and hatred can manifest physically, that woman's retina that actually comes off her eye because she's so desperately trying to figure out the future. Yet your heart expansion, your body now will literally be receiving different signatures of how to show up based on the frequency you're adopting. That's why I said, it will be actually effortless for you to try what you were trying to do before in terms of your beauty and your appearance, will now just be a natural byproduct to the fact that you're all embracing, all accepting. So when we understand that analogy, like the film that is constantly scrolling in a motion picture is the essence of who we are as humans, but the one consistent is the light that doesn't change. And we could argue that that without sounding too poetic, that one consistent is love. And that who I think I am, who I misidentify myself with is simply the scroll, the narrative, the story that is my lifeline, but it's never ever the same at any given moment. But if I'm in love, then all aspects are okay.

VYLANA: Yeah. Wow. Thank you.

PETER: Not too big. Isn't that cool?

VYLANA: It's so cool. I mean, I know what it is to struggle as a woman and just to feel potentially how impactful this could be for so many women, makes me really happy to bare it all.

PETER: And even more so, like the timeline that now you just evolve to, the Vy that was trying to help other women was in her own war with herself. Not saying you didn't have impact, but it was at some level, manipulative and inauthentic. Not intended, so there's no guilt or shame. But now you step to a different timeline because you adopt a different frequency, which actually can make that difference that you were trying to do from a place that you couldn't. That's cool.

VYLANA: Yeah. Yeah.

AUBREY: And one of the things that you shared with me, and I forget which one, first or second podcast. But you said, "The world doesn't need anything from you, Aubrey, except for you to be Aubrey."

PETER:Yeah.

AUBREY: The world doesn't need anything. And that really landed. And it's been reiterated in my own journeys. Whenever I ask, it's don't worry about what you do, what you do will be a natural product of who you be. And when I get to be myself, things flow easily, magnetically. I attract the people in the situations and the ideas that come through, and it's a joy. I think part of that deep confidence that I have in myself, that's been in evolution of course, is like people ask me, "How you feeling? Are you nervous about this Fit For Service or this thing? Is it stressful? I know you must be exhausted." No, not really.

VYLANA: I'll just go up there and crash it.

AUBREY: Yeah, because of my being. My being is what actually transmits and sometimes, when my being is... The higher the state of my being, the more Aubrey I am, the more effortless and magical and beautiful that product of Aubreyness is. So, all of the energy focusing on waking up and really stepping into the fullness of Aubrey, which I've given the name dragon heart as like that's the me that's the very best. It's not that the other parts aren't as good, but it's just that's me in the full Aubreyness. That's without any of the limiting beliefs, without any of that. Like dragon heart. When dragon heart just exists, the world is magical, and amazing things happen. And I'm abiding in the truth, actually the fucking truth. It's like I'm living out of the lie. All the prisons are fucking lies. So I'm living in the truth, through the realness. Dragon heart is real. Everything else is a fucking fiction. It's all maya, illusion. But that fullness of yeah, all right, here I am, that place where the demon and the Buddha touch, the fullness of self. And that's been a big part of the evolution in the years since we've known each other, is deeper and deeper contact with that aspect of myself. Doesn't mean that I don't slip into other patterns and lose sight of that, and sometimes need to be reminded, and you've been there to remind me, "Hey, sad sack, over here with your little pity party. Hey, dragon heart. You in there, buddy?" "No, I'm not." But--

VYLANA: It's exactly how I say it. He's so good at storytelling. "Sad sack."

AUBREY: You say, you sad sack over there."

VYLANA: Super feminine.

AUBREY: And ultimately, I actually invite that, because in some ways, it's a little bit of the kind of the magic that you have is, you are really loving and compassionate but not coddling. So if Peter was there as my coach, where you're like, "Hey, what are you doing there, buddy? What's going on?" And it just reminds, it can remind me of the truth that I already know, as I hope to be able to remind you of the truth that you're stepping into now is the absolute unparalleled radiance, and beauty of Vylananess . The unique Vylananess, that's what I'm fucking in love with. That's what I've been in love with since the moment I've been there with you. And the sadness for me is when you can't see it. That's the heartbreaker. And other times too, where you'll make choices and I'll feel... Like you wear an outfit that you're really physically uncomfortable in, and we'll go to dinner.

VYLANA: "I can't breathe."

AUBREY: We'll be going to dinner, and you'll have an outfit where you can't really sit in it, you can't dance in it, and you can't walk in your shoes. And you're like, "Here I am, isn't this great?" And I'm like, "Yeah, babe, you look great." But I would rather have you in fucking dunks and jeans and whatever, and just be free to be able to stand up and get up and dance, and just radically express the fullness of who you are, rather than wow, you're really put together, Vy. I'm getting an erection just looking at how put together you are. It doesn't work like that.

VYLANA: Having an emotional condom on when you're [inaudible 01:40:39].

PETER: That's going to get a lot of mileage. I can remember I was asked to go on this TV show many, many years ago. It was called "Relationship Rehab" and it was these three women who were in different ways, like dating experts. One wrote a column, one was a matchmaker, and one had like some radio show about dating, but none of them had relationships. So that was sort of the comedy of the show. And it's like, okay, well, why are these experts themselves struggling in relationship? I remember I walked in, and I hadn't met this girl. I was talking to a girl who wrote a column for Elle or something. I sat down, and I said, "Wow, you look stunning. You kind of remind me of a porcelain doll." She was so put together and she said, "Oh, thank you." I said, "No, that wasn't a compliment." It's like I really don't have any interest in cuddling with a porcelain doll. That was my first foray into, that might be one of the obstacles to actually having intimacy is that it's just way too together. Yeah, it's amazing, isn't it? And this is to me, the beauty of when you understand love is it's very easy, particularly for a woman or any human being to love the parts of you that you'd like. But then that's not love, that's preference. And now you've got actually the introduction to love, which is, dammit, have got to include the parts of me that I don't like.

VYLANA: Yeah, for sure. It's beautiful, because I have one sister who's here that we've been through, my sister Caitlin, we've been through hell and back together, and a very chaotic relationship. One thing that I learned about with her so deeply is, it's easy to like the parts of your friends that you love, and that are easy and seamless, but what happens when they reveal a part to you that is full of charge and trigger and judgment and all these things? Can you love them then? And I got to learn that lesson, really, really deeply with her. And we have the most extraordinary love and friendship that I could possibly imagine. And having that is almost like a beacon of how I want to be with myself, because I know how I showed up in the moments with her.

PETER: Yeah, it's easier, not easy, but it's easier for us to love everybody else's humanity, but we really struggle with our own. But that's the real mountain to conquer. It's like, wow, if who I am, like I said earlier is in love, then every aspect of this avatar called Peter Crone with his genius, and his shortcomings and his whatever, it's like, it's all included. It's all allowed. And people will have, someone might say, "Oh, you're brilliant." And somebody, "I don't know, you're a fucking anti-vaxxer," it's all available. Like it's okay, cool, there's still love here. And within love, there's preference for what works for me and doesn't, right? So it's not love that I'm subservient, it's love includes me. And now for the first time in your life, you get to truly include all parts of you.

VYLANA: Yay.

PETER: That's cool. You just got a whole lot more wife.

VYLANA: Here I come, Fit For Service.

AUBREY: Oh, let's go. Let's go.

PETER: Yeah, so beautiful. Thank you.

VYLANA: Thank you so much.

PETER: Thank you for the gift that you are, and all the best intentions you've had that now can actually be realized in the absence of you. It's sort of a dissolution process, right? That's the irony. There's a part of you trying, and in the absence of you, everything that you're trying to get just suddenly reveals itself. How cool is that?

VYLANA: It's really cool. Thank you. Thank you so much for everything that it took for you to be exactly as you are, just watching you. Watching you serve everyone yesterday, it was just mind blowing. And I knew we were doing this today. And before I go to sleep every night, I put an alarm and it'll say today will be, and I'll just listen. And whatever comes through is what I'll write, and I wrote mind blowing for today. So, that officially manifested, so thank you.

PETER: And heart expanding.

VYLANA: And heart expanding. Heart expanding and mind blowing.

AUBREY: It's the heart expanding that blows the mind. It's shifting that locus of identity and attention from this head... The ego can't help itself but know itself in relative terms in comparison. It's a ranking system. It's not real. So, it has to use reference points itself to here's where I am in this spectrum, here's wealth, here's power, here's beauty, here's--

VYLANA: Followers.

AUBREY: Whatever, whatever. But it only knows itself in relative context. Whereas the truth of who we are, does not need to know itself in relative context, because it's related to everything. It simply is. And that's the wisdom of the heart, that's the heart sigh. So if the heart is looking at yourself in the mirror, the mirror will go from a prison to actually a celebration. It'll be a place of, wow, how cool.

VYLANA: I guess I do have a question if I can. Now that I have the awareness which is the first gift of freedom, because I now can act from a different place, but would you suggest any type of integrated, like if I'm in the mirror and something comes up, any type of advice or guidance as to how to navigate?

PETER: Yeah, so there's so many words that I feel are like synonymous. So, we could say presence, and love, and freedom and acceptance. I feel they're all bedfellows. So in that case, there's the experience of what you see, and then there's the filter of what you say about what you see. But behind all of it, is just presence. There's the awareness that I'm aware, that I am that I am. And then so really, when people, like my athletes particularly, oh shit, I wish I could just get out of my own way, there's an accuracy to that, even though it seemed like an oxymoron. So what they're saying is get out of their own way, like the essence of who they are, which is in their case, pure potential and great performance. unencumbered by the, I get out of my own way, the idea of oh, I failed, I did something wrong, don't make a mistake. So in the absence of self, little self, you're just left with presence of what is. So even when you're in the mirror, if there is a conversation that seems derogatory, judgmental, critical, presence is still okay with that. That's why I said, it's the antithesis of the way you'd frame it. Like understand, you're trying to resist that, which is the wall, which is the fight, which is the disease, which is the breakout, and the suffering. Whereas the anger, the frustration, the criticism, they all have place. Now, the irony is, the more that we find that sense of internal peace and acceptance of ourselves, those more sort of categorized as negative emotions tend not to arise. Like it's very, very rare for me to get upset, to feel hurt, get angry. And yet if they do, they're welcome. And the irony is, in the welcoming, which is another expression of acceptance and love, they dissipate.

VYLANA: Yeah, it was the same with me for anger.

PETER: Yeah, it's so beautiful, and it seems so contradictory to how most people live their lives. I remember being in Whole Foods one day, this is many years ago, and a guy I'd seen in a workshop a few years before, came in, and he definitely looked flustered. And I said, "You okay?" He's like, "Oh, no, I'm just struggling, I'm pissed." I'm like, okay, well, why, what's going on? And he said, "Well, since I saw you, I did a bunch more workshops." And so now immediately, I can hear what's going on, right? Which is he's done all this work, but he's still pissed. So, like, oh, man, God, this is embarrassing. Because, I used a lot of humor. I haven't seen a pissed person for a really long time, like this is embarrassing. I don't know anyone actually gets angry anymore, apart from you. Please start to crack up a little bit. It's like he realized the futility of the fact that he'd done all this work, and so now there's a super imposition and expectation. That means that he's never human anymore.

VYLANA: Yeah.

PETER: And it was just so liberating right there. I was like, "Okay, but are you angry less?" He's like, "Oh, yeah, way." I'm like, "Could you take that as progress? Maybe have a little glimmer of frustration periodically? That's a good direction, you know? And so, it's just being vast enough, big enough as a human being that you can allow all of it. And that's where you were in conflict with yourself is because you were denying something that literally can't be denied. And that's why it doesn't work. And now it's like, oh, I can be a bitch, I can be stunning, I can be angry, I can be kind, it's all there. The gamut of being human is available to you. And that's presence and that is love. And from that place, it tends to refine the way that you show up as a human too. So, the things that we ironically are always trying to mitigate, get rid of, or deny, or hide, they tend to just dissolve anyway.

AUBREY: I had a friend who is, acquaintance kind of who is a track coach, and his specialty was start, off the blocks. Whenever a gun or light or whatever technique they used to start the race to sprint, usually like 100 meters, 200 meters. And he would teach his athletes too before they got in there to say I am. And I thought it was interesting, because he was kind of like, he wasn't like a spiritual guy. But he got that in that one moment of just saying I am, it dropped his athletes into the field of awareness where they didn't have to think about, now I need to start because here's the gun, I wonder what this race, when is it going to happen? I am dropped them into the field. The field allowed them to actually perform and come off the blocks faster. So, it's not like he was saying, I think a lot of affirmation is like, I am fast. And that puts an idea of what you are, which is not true. Sometimes you're fast, sometimes you're not. You're just, you are. Like I am beautiful. Well, all right, then you're still limiting yourself rather than just the simple I am. And I've always remembered that as, yeah, that's a powerful technique, because it just puts you back in the field as that unique perspective and a point of universal awareness.

PETER: Yeah. And to sort of continue on the thread of like me speaking with the group yesterday, and making these associations between energy, emotion, behavior and physiology, having worked with a ton of athletes, especially some baseball guys who are talented, but they would struggle striking out and they didn't know why. And to that point, what happens physiologically, and that's a great cue or note for someone, I am, it says the absence of the I am something, which like even, even I did this, like creates tension. Like I am something, I'm fast or I'm not fast. Either way, there's resistance, right? So, physiologically, what happens is, if you're declaring anything that creates expectation and time, failure or pressure, you have to be tense to whatever micro degree. And then the micro philae of the muscles are in a position. Embrace. So now before you do anything, what has to happen? You have to first release, to then move. So albeit microseconds, you're slower because you were tense. Isn't that cool? So, my athletes are like, holy shit, like they wonder when I'm drunk or tired, like I play well, because you're so relaxed. You can't be in a state of tension. So your response time is quicker, because you're not tense going to release move, you just go from relaxed move.

VYLANA: Yeah. I feel like I experienced that when... So when I do sound healing, I mean, I'm an absolute presence with the fields. There's no thinking. I mean, it's just pure presence, pure being, pure transmission. And when I sing my music, which is funny, because my song "Phoenix" the lyrics are I am. And that's all I ever need to be. That's an initiation that I'm still working on. But when I sing my music, there's still a part of me that has--

PETER: Was, you don't know. We'll see what happens.

VYLANA: That had as I performed the other night a subtle tension where my body doesn't totally feel relaxed.

PETER: Yeah, because it's still that little girl who doesn't want to become second. So, the irony is, the music with the sound healing, or the sound bites happens in the absence of you. In your song--

VYLANA: I love it, and it feels like heaven. And it's so peaceful and wonderful.

PETER: Because heaven is, love is. But Aubrey, Vylana, anybody is in the way of what is. See, my work, why it works and the profound nature that it has, or the impact it has is, I'm just getting rid of you and revealing what's already there. See, there's love is there. I know it's there. And then we've got this little girl who's trying to be something together. I'm like, yeah, but if you're not there you see the love that's already there, right? So that's it. It's a dissolution process. Again, I can't give you something you don't already have. And that's why the work works, because a lot of coaches is trying to do something for you. I'm not. I'm trying to get rid of the you that you think is you that is in the way of what that you is trying to get. It's a tongue twister move.

VYLANA: It's brilliant.

PETER: Yeah, ain't that cool? It's like, damn it, we're so stupid. Amazing, such a joy to be with you, my dear.

VYLANA: Thank you so much.

PETER: To see this new version of you be revealed.

VYLANA: I'm excited. I feel like I'm going to be a lot less exhausted, and just a lot more alive.

PETER: Yeah. A lot more real. And just for the sake of a visual representation that people will see now that I point it out, the first half of this interview, you spent I would say 80 to 90% of the time with your eyes closed. Now, I know some of it is because you're trying to connect and think and feel. So, there's an appropriateness there. But I also want you to consider that it's a way that you were emotionally learning to protect yourself over time, like there's a part of you that's hidden. And now you actually get to see and be there without any fear.

VYLANA: Yeah, that feels true.

PETER: Right? So it's a subtle thing, but I see it. And there's a degree to which even in the imposition of a question, you might not know the answer, which can be awkward. You're in the hot seat, I'm doing this work with you. There's a way that you couldn't go anywhere. So it's a way that we shield ourselves as humans. So some people will say, oh, wow, that's cool. Sometimes my husband, my partner, my friend, they don't look me in the eye.

VYLANA: There's actually a protective mechanism.

PETER: It is, that's all it is. Like language when you say you, and stuff like that. So now you're much more present actually too because you're allowing yourself to see, whereas before you didn't want to see something.

VYLANA: Yeah, that was really true.

PETER: Isn't that cool?

VYLANA: Yeah, everything's cool.

PETER: Everything's cool.

VYLANA: Super cool.

PETER: Everything is awesome. Thank you both.

AUBREY: Yeah, brother. Thank you as always for this act of great liberation. I hope that everybody listening can recognize that Vylana's specificity is also a universality. Every time we watch you liberate someone from the prisons of their own mind, there's a liberation that occurs to some aspect of ourselves, however small that might be, or however big it might be. For some people it might have hit, direct hit. That's their thing. And for other people, it might be, well, that's not exactly my thing, but I understand the process. And also, that little part of me that is you, which we all share, because we all share a commonality to some fractional degree. And that part gets liberated as well. So, I just want to thank you for all of the individual liberations that are leading to the collective liberation, that will allow us to actually see we're in the kingdom of heaven. Here we are. Welcome, everybody, here we are. And it's just a matter of perspective.

PETER: Yeah. As we started, we're giving birth to something. We give birth to a new woman who's found like the essence of who she is, which is love of all aspects of herself. And hopefully everybody who's listening to this sort of gave birth to a different part of themselves that's more expansive too.

VYLANA: I hope.

AUBREY: Peter, what you got cooking, man? You got a mastermind that's maybe available?

PETER: Yeah, coming up in, I think probably May, which is contain us into this, but with beautiful souls all around the world, which just adds a different quality of fun and support and community. And over usually three months, we meet every two weeks and you get to see this, you get to learn how I'm doing it. It's so beautiful. It's really been moving to be part of a group, like this is obviously super profound. And I'm so humbled by the opportunity, but to do it en masse in a mastermind is, it's really special.

AUBREY: And we've threatened to gather in person perhaps--

PETER: I know, I see that. I'm so excited that you shared the vision that came to me and I was I couldn't think of a better couple to do it with or a place to do it at. So, I think that'd be so profound.

AUBREY: All right, so it is. Thank you, my brother. I love you.

PETER: Love you too.

VYLANA: Thank you so much. Love you. Bye, everybody.

AUBREY: Goodbye, everybody. Thanks for tuning in, peace. Thanks for tuning into this video. Make sure you hit subscribe, follow me at @AubreyMarcus. Check out the Aubrey Marcus Podcast available everywhere. And leave a comment. Let me know if this video resonated or what else you would like to hear from me in the future. Thank you so much.