A wild man is not a boyfriend, he is a force.

The poem below was inspired by Alison Nappi's: A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature.

 A wild man is not a boyfriend, he is a force.

Can you love me in the blinding heat of a birthing star, when I shower warmth on distant moons?

Can you love me in the hole of the cosmic Black, where no one can reach me? Not even you?

Can you love me then too?

Can you love me when I drag buffalo skulls through the dirt for days, to the rhythm of an ancient drum?

Will you love me if my beard hides the scars in my heart, from battles I cannot explain?

WIll you love me when I lack courage, when I am defeated, when I won't let you patch my wounds?

WIll you trust me when I smell of sweetgrass and sage, and when I stink of whiskey and sweat?

When I drink from the cup and play in astral light, will you anchor me to Home?

What happens when my words don't work, and I can speak with only my eyes?

Can you love me enough to let me go, without asking me where I'll be?

I am no poodle to lay groomed on a leash at your feet. I am the wolf that fetches the bones of truth.

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He's not built for animal husbandry. He is a force. He is a cause for an effect. He is a mission.

Are you afraid to let me inside you? Not just my flesh, but my soul. The wild man is neither burglar or vandal. I will not take anything from you. I will not trample on sprouting seeds or pick flowers as a trophy. I am the sun on flooded fields and the fire for tangled webs.

Don't be scared, lover, mother, maiden, crone. Take me as I am.

Even if I have the power to destroy worlds, I will not destroy you.

A wild man is a protector. A father. A warrior for all that is good.

When the chaos seeks to obliterate you, sheering your flesh from bone, I will hold all the pieces together in love, until you are ready to reassemble.

When your seas boil, and your winds throw cars at corn fields, I will wait patiently for you to catch my eye, so that both of us can laugh.

When Hell opens up the fiery gates, and sends all the cosmos against you, I plant my heels deep in the ground. I lay my shield low. My sword is sharp then, my love. The steel sings sweetly. With a smile, Hoka Hey! My last breath a farewell kiss. Today is a good day to die.

For ours is the oldest love affair. The greatest story ever told. Cupid and Psyche, Shiva and Shakti, You and I.

Same same but different. Would we have it any other way?

A wild man is not a boyfriend. He is a force.


A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature.

But can you love me in the deep? In the dark? In the thick of it?

Can you love me when I drink from the wrong bottle and slip through the crack in the floorboard?

Can you love me when I'm bigger than you, when my presence blazes like the sun does, when it hurts to look directly at me?

Can you love me then too? Can you love me under the starry sky, shaved and smooth, my skin like liquid moonlight?

Can you love me when I am howling and furry, standing on my haunches, my lower lip stained with the blood of my last kill?

When I call down the lightning, when the sidewalks are singed by the soles of my feet, can you still love me then?

What happens when I freeze the land, and cause the dirt to harden over all the pomegranate seeds we've planted?

Will you trust that Spring will return?

Will you still believe me when I tell you I will become a raging river, and spill myself upon your dreams and call them to the surface of your life?

Can you trust me, even though you cannot tame me?

Can you love me, even though I am all that you fear and admire?

Will you fear my shifting shape?

Does it frighten you, when my eyes flash like your camera does?

Do you fear they will capture your soul?

Are you afraid to step into me?

The meat-eating plants and flowers armed with poisonous darts are not in my jungle to stop you from coming. Not you.

So do not worry. They belong to me, and I have invited you here.

Stay to the path revealed in the moonlight and arrive safely to the hut of Baba Yaga: the wild old wise one, she will not lead you astray if you are pure of heart.

You cannot be with the wild one if you fear the rumbling of the ground, the roar of a cascading river, the startling clap of thunder in the sky.

If you want to be safe, go back to your tiny room the night sky is not for you.

If you want to be torn apart, come in. Be broken open and devoured. Be set ablaze in my fire.

I will not leave you as you have come: well dressed, in finely-threaded sweaters that keep out the cold.

I will leave you naked and biting. Leave you clawing at the sheets. Leave you surrounded by owls and hawks and flowers that only bloom when no one is watching.

So, come to me, and be healed in the unbearable lightness and darkness of all that you are.

There is nothing in you that can scare me. Nothing in you I will not use to make you great.

A wild woman is not a girlfriend. She is a relationship with nature. She is the source of all your primal desires, and she is the wild whipping wind that uproots the poisonous corn stalks on your neatly tilled farm.

She will plant pear trees in the wake of your disaster.

She will see to it that you shall rise again.

She is the lover who restores you to your own wild nature.

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  • Powerful inspiration!! Thank you!

    Susan Lovejoy
  • Thanks for these inspired words. They hit home, hard. I ended up writing a response to your response:

    Matthew Milne
  • Amazing. I cried. And it reminded me of my thoughts from earlier today:

    While at the skatepark this morning I was hit by the words

    “I never loved you as much as I love skateboarding”

    I’ve often thought of skateboarding as the perfect lover.

    She is always on my mind, and almost always in a positive way.

    She is not always there for me. And that’s ok, I understand we can’t always get what we want. And when she isn’t there for me, it is not because she doesn’t want me, or wants to punish me, it’s just the way it is, in that moment, and tomorrow is another day, and we will always find a way to be together.

    She doesn’t complain when I am not there for her, when I don’t have the time, the physical strength, or the lust to play.

    She doesn’t care that my hands are dirty and my clothes are torn. She knows that the outside is not me. The real me, the one that loves her, is inside.

    I am happy to see her play with others, to share her abundant love, because I see the happiness she brings in the smiles she creates.

    She lets me fail, over and over, and doesn’t judge me or tell me I am wrong. She knows my love is strong, true, and will bring me back to her, no matter what.

    She has hurt me bad, put me under the surgeons knife, kept me lying awake in pain for a hundred hours, and I understand that when she did this to me it was because I wasn’t giving her all the attention she needed, wasn’t focused enough on her, I let other things come between us. I understand that it was not her that hurt me, it was my lack of commitment.

    And that hurt I endured made me love her more. Missing her made my love come back stronger, made me focus on being the best I can be for her.

    She is always growing and changing, learning, becoming better, and sometimes becoming worse. Doing things I don’t approve of. Dancing with people who just want her for her image, for what they can get from her, and not loving her for her soul. And though sometimes I may not like those changes, I accept them because they are part of her power and her greatness. That she does not stagnate, but constantly re-creates, pushes forwards, is what keeps her fresh, keeps her young at heart and beautiful in my eyes.

    She will be there for me as long as I live. Maybe one day I won’t be physically able to play the way we used to, or not be able to play at all, but I know that she has so many other wonders that I will never grow bored of her.

    It is a love that will never die.

    If I could find a woman I feel this way about, that I could love and accept, in all her glory and all her mistakes, I could be happy for ever.

    And I will be happy forever, because I already found her.

    Her name is skateboarding.

    Dave the Chimp

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