There are a lot of rules about relationships. I think they are largely bullshit. Here are my rules: 1) Success in relationships starts with your relationship to yourself. 2) You are capable only of loving another to the extent that you love yourself. 3) You will permit yourself to be abused by another only to the extent that you abuse yourself. 4) There is only one valid promise to a lover: I will give my love generously, and receive your love graciously.